Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Bad habits

I keep telling myself that it is ok that I messed up, and I can get back on track tomorrow, because "tomorrow is a new day". What a load of crap. The next day comes, and I am finding myself doing the things I did the previous day and still not doing the things I am supposed to. I am just lying to mysef...and I think I'm to the point where I dont even believe what I tell myself anymore. I've been waking up earlier to start exercising, and do I?? No...barely a wake up and yawn stretch. My therapist wanted me to start counting how many times I'm chewing, focusing on flavors and textures of what I'm eating...and only remembered to do it a couple of times. I am just soooo disappointed in myself right now.

Ok..Ok..I know I'm not supposed to beat myself up. I know I'm supposed to pick myself up and move on, and keep on going. I know all of this. But you know what? Knowing it isn't helping. Why am I sabotaging myself? GOD!!!!!!!!!!

I know everything I'm doing wrong, I know I need to correct it. I need to. I want too. I really do. So why don't I? I am so frustrated with myself right now that it's sickening.

1 comment:

  1. Go ahead and go to a group meeting. Chat with others on SparkPeople or Biggest Loser. Get in tune with others, and maybe you'll get the motivation you need. You can do it. You have the power in you, you just have to find it. Start a little bit at a time. Are you still walking at lunch? Drinking your water? Cut out soda totally? (It is the Lenten season, maybe you can promise God and not yourself?)

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